So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize