Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
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You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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