Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
