No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
