Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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