Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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