Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
