So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
