Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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