Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
