i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You are a genius and a whore.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
