he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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