im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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