Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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