no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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