Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dicks are not precious.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
