the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
