best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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