thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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