I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize