I puked a lego.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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