yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
