So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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