A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
North Korea, Best Korea!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
