Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
