That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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