So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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