You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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