I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
