One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
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I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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