He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
