A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think i got beer on your cat.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
