just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
