Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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