matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
