it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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