He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
