My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
