Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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