I'm eating all of the evidence.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
