i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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