Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
