Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
