You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
