I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
