Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
