she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
