i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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