Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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