Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
