He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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