He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
