I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we're making bets on your personal life
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
