Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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