Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize