There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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