my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
