this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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