Are we in a gay sports bar?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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