I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
