i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
