I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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