omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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