How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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