Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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