I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
