He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
